My Football Fantasy

Fantasy (n): the power or process of creating especially unrealistic or improbable mental images in response to psychological need. (www.m-w.com)

Fantasy football (n): a football competition with imaginary teams which the participants own, manage, and coach and with the games based on statistics generated by actual players or teams of a professional sport (www.dictionary.com)

Professional (adj): characterized by or conforming to the technical or ethical standards of a profession (www.m-w.com)

Which brings us to the topic of the week: Terrell Owens.

I find it incredible how far out of their way sports personalities have been willing to go in the past week in order to add their two cents to the recent TO drama (the verbal assault on the eagles organization and his coach and his quarterback, followed by his physical assault on a teammate, followed by his suspension, followed by his surprise that his actions warranted a suspension). Honestly folks, I'm tired of hearing about it. The only football "fantasy" I have is that we can actually talk about football, and the guys who are actually on the field playing it, instead of some idiot who's no longer on the team (but like the definition says, that's unrealistice). It disgusts me that "the media" is so wrapped up in this "story" that they can't let it rest for thirty minutes without bringing up those wretched letters. No one has anything original to say or any new information to add that will help us to understand the enigma that is Terrell Owens. We've heard the same exact remarks coming out of every single on air sports commentator that has found him or herself within shouting distance of a microphone. In case you've missed it (in which case you've either been in a coma, buried alive, or using the presidential intelligence reports as your only "reliable" news source--and for all of you out there I'm truly sorry) here's the paraphrase:

"Terrell Owens is a jerk. He was a jerk in San Francisco. He was a jerk when they tried to trade him to Baltimore. He was a jerk when he got to Philly. Being a jerk is the reason he was told to leave Philly. No one was surprised by this (no, not even his audacious agent Drew Rosenhaus-who may well have guaranteed taht no one will ever sign him, or anyone else with the initials DR, or anyone who bobs their head uncontrollably when they talk, as an agent becasue of the way he handled this mess). Terrell Owens was paid to be a professional football player. He acted un-professional-ly. TO got what he deserved. The Eagles are currently getting what they signed up for when they paid for him. Period."

There's nothing else to say, really. Nothing. So don't try. Just move on. Please. Let Terrell disappear from our collective consciousness. We as a culture want nothing to do with him. Don't spend 75% of your pre-game for the Coaches vs Cancer College Basketball Tournament talking about Terrell Owens. Don't use TO talk as your filler in golf coverage. Stop writing articles about it. Don't talk about him on College GameDay, or even on NFL Primetime. And don't don't don't, no matter what, WASTE an entire blog entry on him!

We have more important things to talk about. Let's focus on the positive...after all, it's been one whole year to the day since the last time NBA players climbed into the stands and pummeled some fans. Let's celebrate progress. (And let's wear some nice suits while we do it.)