The Syllabus

Welcome to my blog. Before charging ahead with my initial purpose, "blogging" as it were, I feel that it could prove helpful to start off with an introduction of sorts. With that in mind (and in order to hopefully establish some reasonable expectations for what you may hope to garner from this blog) I present to you "Life in the Doghouse: A Syllabus"

Important Details

In lieu of an EVite...
What: My blog
Where: Here (offmyleash.blogspot.com)
When: Whenever I deem appropriate, or more specifically, whenever you feel the urge to read it
Who's Invited: Anyone who may or may not be at all interested in anything I may or may not have to say, though some level of interest in the subject matter is both encouraged and strongly recommended.

Objectives

We perpetually find ourselves living life at the end of a very tight leash. Always struggling against societal constraints and attempting to fit into behavior patterns aligned with "normalcy" (a word created by former president Harry Truman, and resurrected recently by the ever delightful Dubya...normality is likely a more proper noun form, though normalcy has been admitted into the dictionary).

In my blog I aim to run freely about, chasing bees, cars, cats, bicycles, or my own tales--off my leash, as my URL indicates. I do not intend to be politically correct or overly sympathetic. I will not go out of my way to offend anyone any more than a dog goes out of his or her way to find an acceptable "dumping ground" (note the use of gender inspecific gramatical construction) and while I will follow the custom of changing the names and faces to protect the innocent, I will make no such promise to the guilty.

Subject matter

So what will my blog cover? The short answer is everything. I intend to make observations on life as I see it. Anyone who knows me is naturally frightened at that notion. History has shown that "as I see it" often will not jive with "How you see it," "How they see it," or "How we have come to understand that it should be seen."

In some cases this will be very positive, affirmative, and reassuring. i will often make an effort to share those things that amaze me, leave me inspired, delighted, and more alive, as well as those that simply amuse me. Other entries may be consist of constructive, critical, albeit cynical analyses of our world from my realm of experiences.

In general, I will address observations I make in places of learning--classes, lectures, churches, bowling alleys and other aporting arenas, parking garages, the mall the gym the cafeteria (or any other public places denoted by use of the article "the"), and anywhere else that my experience leads me (and perhaps in some cases, where I can only imagine my experience could have potentially led me if I had been so inclined--extrapolation, if you will). It is of the utmost importance to recognize opportunities for learning and growth at every juncture, and in every experience, not only when hunched over a tiny writing surface attached to a hard plastic seat which was ergonomically designed for some sort of large feline (a "jungle cat" perhaps) or Tom Hanks, but certainly not a typical human form.

Entries may take on any form I deem appropriate and may include but are not limited to: essay, rambling, poetic lyric, list--either ordered or disorder, alliteration, pleasantly purple power point presentation, debate, dialectical inquiry, or diatribe (which is either the act of dividing a given Native American community into 2 equal parts, or the length of the line required to do so--how these "equal parts" are to be determined, either by number, by summed competencies, by gender, or in some other fashion, may be discussed at a later time.)

Use of Parenthetical Remarks

As you have likely noticed, I enjoy using parentheses (or is it parenthesi?) in my writing. These sidenotes often can be (and likely should be) disregarded, ignored, or laughed at. They will likely induce reactions ranging from nausea, disorientation, fits of laughter, or in extreme cases, catatonic states of confusion. Read only if after discussing with your doctor. Women who are pregnant or who may become pregnant should not...oh nevermind

Grading

There will be no grading -- mostly because there's no "roster" or "roll" of any sort, but also becasue most grades are a bogus representation of your ability to utilize a restricted timeframe to regenerate your professor's views and opinions on highly controversial and often insignificant subject matter. Attendance, however, is mandatory.

Beware of Dog

As Jim Carrey once said "Before Ace Ventura, no one had considered talking through their ass." Consider this an indication of things to come. You have been warned .

In Conclusion

That covers the scope and depth of material to be covered in my blog. Again, please do not take my remarks personally and understand that if it's said here, it probably needed saying. I encourage you to offer comments, remarks, suggestions, love letters, or hate mail.